The 4 Dimensions of People in Your Life
The 4 dimensions of people in your life is a delicious recipe to help you bake an awesome relationship cake. Sprinkle in a bit of moving around the world mixed in with getting older and it’s like a gluten free organic filter of people you love or hate. Depending on how you look at it you end up with the creme de la creme of your friends and family or the crispy bottom of the pan “randoms”.
I’m now taking more notice of folks and how they interact in my life. Within life’s ebbs and flows I see a pattern of friends that each person naturally sits in. Some are now close but used to be distant while others are now distant that used to be close. In my analytical brain I felt the need to quantify these quality friends in a way.
Who are these friends and how valuable are they?
Facebook diluted the shit out of the word “Friend” and I’m glad Twitter/Instagram/LinkedIn use the term “followers” as it seems more fitting.
Every person sits in a level, and yes; in a meta way they also can interact with you dimensionally.
1 Dimensional Person
“Person you know” — You just know them. Like you’ve interacted in real life with them but that’s it. They are a line on a piece of paper. Just vertical or horizontal. Again — 1 dimension.
Example: You went to high school with said person but don’t talk to/see them anymore and might even forget their name if you are out in the streets. You know who I’m talking about.
2 Dimensional Person
Commonly referred to as an “acquaintance “ in the business world. You know them, know their name (usually) and interact with them on a weekly, monthly, semi regular basis. The they are a side scrolling Nintendo game of sorts. Up down, left right.
Example: That dude you work with that is socially awkward. Nice guy… just gets old talking to them after 5 mins. You change jobs and it’s “New Phone Who Dis”.
3 Dimensional Person
Now we get legit people here; real mofos! You drink or go on a 3 hour bike ride with said dude/dudette and talk about deep shit like the Fermi paradox and why we have yet to be contacted by aliens yet. The 3 dimension makes them sort of like a diamond or something you can touch and interact with. And in a cheesy way they become more valuable with pressure.
Example: A close family member or friend that you authentically (not by force) want to talk to because they make you laugh, feel good, etc. Most can count these on their hands because honestly there isn’t enough time to get deep with anymore of these people.
Opportunity cost type shit here
Quality over quantity type shit here
#LESSISMORE TYPE SHIT HERE!!!
4 Dimensional Person
Now we are on some Interstellar nek level people like your partner or very close parent. Reason being 4 dimensions — you’ve been inside of them at some point in your life. Yup went there — zero fucks given but it’s true. Sometimes 3 and 4 dimensional people can move fluidly between dimensions as they weave throughout your life. Hell… we know parents and ex lovers can easily become “new phone who dis” dimension 2 folks as much as we lie to ourselves. It’s all relative (see what I did there?!).
Alright… so what do I take from this, Daren?
Each dimension serves a purpose in our lives but it is key to;
1. Identify them
2. Make clear what you do with them
3. Set your expectations and appreciation of them and/or the relationship
4. Be aware of how much time you spend with them | 100 blocks per day is a great starting point to how much time we actually have vs wasting it on dumb shit
I read a while back that I should more honest, vulnerable and truthful with people I meet out and about. I’ve found this opens up a metaphorical friend front door (like inviting a vampire into your house). I wouldn’t say I’m an over-sharer but I don’t hold back telling people how I feel, wtf is going on, how much money I’ve made/lost, etc. Being more open to people allows them to open up to me which creates a solid friendship which allows people to organically move into deeper levels of dimensions.
Go out and interact more with people you value your time with. Interact less with the people that annoy you and give a bit more information to that random person you met at that random event. You never know, they might become a 4 dimensional person that ends up being literally “all up in your life”.
Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say…
Thank you for being a friend
Scientific Studies/Literature
It was brought to my attention that the amazingly awesome writer Tim Urban from WaitButWhy.com wrote about this similar topic and since I actually never read it (meant to a few years ago) please check it out as it goes into more depth about these “friends”
Peer Relationship Pattern of Adolescents: A Study of locale and gender differences
Friendship standards: The dimensions of ideal expectations
Resourceful Friends: An Invaluable Dimension in Family Inclusive Child Protection Practice
